Synovate's brand new youth division has spent its first few weeks thinking about the knotty issue of parenting. As part of these efforts, the team has used Synovate's TeenNation omnibus survey to speak with over 500 US teens, as well as travelling all around North America to spend a full day with well over 45 families. A wealth of insights has been gathered into how teens feel about their parents and vice versa. Do teens give their parents passing marks? And why are parents trying so hard to be friends? Hi... these are my new friends: Mom and Dad Sixty-five per cent of our teen interviewees believe their "parents try hard to be a friend". At first glance, this might seem great. On the positive side, "friends" are there for you, they listen and they tend to be fun. On the less positive side, "friends" don't tell you what to do, they don't set the rules and they don't have the right to control. Little wonder then that only 28 per cent said they intend "to be a friend first" when they have kids. It seems for most teens, having a friend who's also your parent is like taking final exams at prom time - the two just don't mix. Somewhat surprisingly, almost half of all teens surveyed claimed they "will be strict with kids about what they can and can't do". In sum, teens seem to be telling mom and dad to be parents, rather than friends. Who's raising whom? So why are parents trying to be a friend first and a parent second? Parents have told us that since their rites of passage into adulthood have been completed - getting married, having children, even getting a fulltime job, etc - they are, in essence, remaining "young" through their children. Compounding this is the fact that many modern-day parents had a childhood of chores, strict parents, no technology, less consumerism and at-home moms. In response, they've raised their teens to have little in the way of responsibility, are extremely liberal, and give their kids almost anything they want. Home sweet home As such, in-home power dynamics are firmly with the teens. From pool tables in the front room to a fridge full of youth snacks bought by mom, homes, more often that not, are entirely taken over by the teen. In this context it's not surprising that young people in the US are living at home longer than ever before. Nearly 50 per cent of teens interviewed by TeenNation intend to stay at home as "long as they can". Here... have a pony The "give 'em what they want" attitude also carries over to consumption. Nearly 20 per cent of teens no longer pester or request brands or products – mom just buys it for them. Better known as "Guess-ter Power", parents today buy their teens what they think they want, rather than what they say they want (no wonder moms are such a valuable target audience for brands). When the teen does ask for something, however, parents are very reluctant to say "no". If they do, the kids might leave home - or even worse, their kids might dislike them and be unhappy! By contrast, only 10 per cent of teens intend to buy their kids whatever they want. It appears teens understand the damage of never saying "no" better than their parents. Sex, Lies and Secrets Seventy-one per cent of teens surveyed claim their parents know them well, but said that they still keep a few secrets from them. The most guarded information had to do with friends. Thirty-nine per cent of teens lied to their parents about "bad" friends. A further 15 per cent kept their partying to themselves, with 12 per cent staying 'mum' about alcohol. When it comes to sex, 15 per cent of teens said they keep secrets from their parents. Perhaps not surprisingly, the figures creep up as age does - 24 per cent of teens aged 15-17 kept sex a secret from their parents versus only five per cent of 12 to 14 year olds. Admired So is modern parenting more messed up than the average teenage bedroom? Fortunately not – 85 per cent responded that their parents were doing a "great job of raising them". Parents also scored well when it came to admiration. In total, 88 per cent of teens said they look up to and admire their parents. Still, 40 per cent of teens indicated that they would raise their own kids differently. So, if parents could just learn how to say "no" and be more "parental", things might even get better. Thank you for reading Synovate In:fact. The findings are taken from a Synovate TeenNation survey of 500 teens across the U.S. Synovate's TeenNation is a bi-monthly online survey of American young people ages 12-17, providing a nationally representative sample of 500 U.S. teens in each wave. Synovate's new youth division will publish a full report, Meet the Parents, in September 2004. The team has been all around North America - spending a full day with well over 45 families. If you'd like more information about this study or the Meet the Parents report, please email infact@synovate.com. Click here to send a copy of this survey to a friend. If you'd prefer not to receive further issues, click here to unsubscribe from our mailing list. Click here if you're not a subscriber and wish to subscribe to future issues. As a subscriber to Synovate In:fact, you're encouraged to contact us with your comments, suggestions and inquiries. To do so, please email infact@synovate.com. We will reply as quickly as possible. We believe in our subscribers' privacy rights. The data you provide us will not be shared with third parties without your express permission. We aim to comply with email regulations worldwide. This is not always easy as email laws are still evolving in many locations. 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